you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
