fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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