That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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