it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
