I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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