Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
