You're my little dorito
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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