Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
