i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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