Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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