Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
