Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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