i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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