My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
