i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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