Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
3 2 1 whiskey
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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