you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
don't judge my taste in strippers
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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