Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
