I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
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