im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
