that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
