THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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