you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
