I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
