Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
