i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
