dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
