were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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