don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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