Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
