problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I haven't been this sober since birth.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
