Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
