Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
birth control should be required to get into college
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
