mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
