My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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