the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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