Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
