Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize