Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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