My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
