So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
