SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He did a backflip because drugs
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
