i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
