And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
