You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
