Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My vagina is very pro this idea
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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