There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
