so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
