eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
