Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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