u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
