im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
