Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
