I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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