There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I woke up under a house in Key West
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