Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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