He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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