it glows. i had to have it.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
