You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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