You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
