Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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