i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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